It’s got everything: uppers, downers, Cabbage Patch Dolls, the Delorian from ‘Back to the Future’, and the guy who played Vinnie on ‘Doogie Howser, M.D.’ is the doorman.

I feel like it’s the exact plot from a sitcom I can’t quite recall. Did Moira Rose have a funeral for her wigs or her dead career or something? 

accidents

I find surfers’ attitude especially grating because their hobby takes place in the OCEAN, which is A) no one’s property and B) expansive as fuck. There will be another wave, Chad.

I used to know nothing about Guy Fieri. Thanks to 23andMe I now know that man is genetically related to me enough to be my 3rd cousin. Now, whenever his name pops up in the news I think, “It’s nice someone in the family is doing well financially because none of the rest of us are.” Late stage capitalism is fun.

They seem like a couple who met in group therapy and is together by the grace of duct tape, twine, a shared fear of loneliness and  God.

“Who names their kid Cricket?”

Love you forever Courtney, you crazy, petty, messy bitch.  Not worried about Rodrigo, getting bitched at by Love is a practically a rite of passage.

Is this Prince sending us a sign things will be ok in afterworld???

I would have guessed that calling strangers “cunt” was one of the most sexist things around.

Agreed. I don’t know why they bother with the bottoms (or the tops, but we can discuss that on an other thread). If it is just a string on the hips, a string up your ass crack and 2 square inches of fabric in your crotch, and you are CLEARLY waxed in all the uncomfortable places, why are you bothering?

I would genuinely break up with someone if they didn’t get the vaccine. I may be single again soon, and I would require my prospective beaux to get it, or I would refuse to be intimate with them. I got my two shots awhile ago - I was eligible a bit early as an educator. My consort got it, but - we might break up for…

Single man here. Got my second shot today. Anyone interested in two weeks? I’m in full on let’s go mode. I’m DTF ladies!

“OW!”

the Theresa Giudice picture looks like a reshoot of that scene from Goodfellas where Karen Hill meets the other mobster wives for the first time

The Duggars’ are fuming with envy right now...

Let’s have a new Bond movie with Idris Elba as M, Dan Stevens as Moneypenny and Page as Bond. You won’t take your eyes off the screen. And the flirting between Bond and Moneypenny would add a whole new dimension. 

Sounds like your wife might need to sign up.

NO ONE is as hot as young James Spader.

Yes, I was definitely postulating new testament theory in my sarcastic Jezebel comment.