WAY more interested in a show about them

love myself, hate that song

anyone else kind of a recovering grey area drinker who now realizes the are a narcissist when they regularly drink?

kind of ridiculous how attractive he was

sure she does. 

she’s a grown up now?

but think about all the articles about Natalie Portmans accent training we could read! 

buy a gift card (can be just a visa gift card doesn’t have to be for the restaurant) and say its your treat because you just found this gift card while cleaning and want to use it before you lose it again

Good luck getting an 11month old to sleep on their back 

ok but are we going to do it with shots of vodka like in Tolstoy novels? because I might till the fields with enough vodka

ahem. as a person who only brushes their hair once a week I feel scandalized. also, I only steal cokes. I buy my own yogurt thankyouverymuch

Yes I def read that too and was hoping I could get rid of my completely useless coworkers who are always cackling about something

wow I feel like thats the closest to her old face shes looked in years

yeah me too, I shudder at the idea of trying to exercise without coffee first too. lots of slow plodding probably

I misread Meaghan Markles interviewers name and for a moment thought she had been interviewed by Tom Brady. Now I kind of want to see it happen

locked him in a room and played his bands cds on repeat

sounds like a perfect night tbh

I feel like I have done fuck all recently but today I returned some sheets to Kohls today which I have been putting off forever/dreading

can I come? I am still of the childbirthing hips fertile stage but fire and moonshine and dirty jokes sound amazing

I read that as mock-tail like mock cocktail and was like christ why.