Thankfully, @RealPeterson2for1 is behind bars now.

Wonderful times, these days.

If Limp Bizkit had a baby with a UFC fight and reared this child on Monster energy drink, that's what it would look like.

Yuengling? Go to hell and die.

Such a shame to see Blackmon throw his career away to drugs. Why couldn't he just beat his fiancée instead?

"I instructed him to exit the vehicle. As he did, I noticed that he was rather large in stature and appeared to be athletically fit. I mean, he was huge. But still had amazing muscular definition. With broad shoulders and hands the size of ironing boards. If you were an NFL quarterback, it would be absolutely…

"large in stature and athletically fit" is my new favorite euphemism for black

This is nothing. Maximum Dadness is achieved at the Antonio Cromartie household every other weekend and the occasional holiday.

As a former Knick, Brunson should know better than to expect a happy ending.

There will be no debate about what hat Drew will wear when he gets his Deadspin Hall of Fame plague.

Deadspin columnist

And at the end of that summer, we all went our separate ways. I used to see Tyrese and Johnny in the hallways, but by the close of our freshman year, they were just two more faces in the crowd. I heard that Tyrese got married and has a couple of kids. He drinks a lot these days, and finds work doing odd jobs around…

Hmmm.....let's see what 60's Spider-Man has to say about this.

Adam Silver is a good fucking commissioner. When was the last time we could say the Big 4 in sports had at least one good commissioner?

[Sounds of laughter]

On a related note, Barrett's catchphrase of "I'M AFRAID I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS!!!" makes for a fantastic text alert.

Detroit? No, not sending the world to Detroit