Tim Tebow could only dream of having that kind of accuracy

Is it me or do these suspensions handed down from the NFL seem pointless as long as the ginger hammer is in charge?

I never had a problem with my Xbox but then again I don’t have any kids beging me to play Thomas the Train either. So if the choices are getting married and having kids or suffer unimaginable lonliness but have a functioning system well.....

“Thanks for doing my work for me!”

Notice that the victim never made any mention that the suspect at any point said he played football for UCLA. He knew that punters aren't real football players and to never use it to pick up chicks.

I volunteer Raven-Symoné, Lolo Jones, Don Lemon, and Donald Trump to be the first Mars settlers.

Mission Impossible and the Fast and the Furious films accomplished the rare feat of getting better with each subsequent sequel. The Bourne films have been great from start to finish.

Meanwhile he has 12 kids that we know about and yes Geno is a bum so why is this kid being flamed for his tweets?!?

Barber: Hey Mark what you want today?

Nice catch now back to Sierra Leone you worthless immigrant!

Cooler wife maybe but my iPhone 6s trumps a flip phone any day of the week!

Sadly Riley Cooper does not :-(

That was George Zimmerman approved.

This guy can lead me anywhere!

Yeah that guac is kinda extensive.

Please put him out of his misery and fire his dumb ass so that he can finally move on to “Fox and Friends.”

Fuck him I use his image all the time when I text.

Wait those cleats and shoes are real and not some props from a Saturday Night Live sketch?!? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!