Seriously, the Lakers have not been this entertaining since the Shaq years. The Twilight of Kobe is like Kurtz waiting at the end of the Nung River. Carlos Boozer is the water buffalo.

I have a dear friend who was pretty deeply depressed and, I suppose, fairly aimless. Then his wife had an affair and they're getting divorced, and he's, like, super galvanized by it all! The depression is gone completely, he's back to being hilarious and vital, he's got energy, and even a little pizzazz.

As a Sixers fan I feel like a cancer kid about to get my Make-A-Wish when suddenly the Lakers mainline cesium so they can meet John Cena.

I come to Jezebel because it is a good place for u kno what.

I don't know what his politics are but the man clearly knows his snack foods and that is A-OK with this voter.

That MG will still never be fixed. RIP.

Now moved? Pinkham, the mob's been in Providence foreva eva. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriarca…

I'd actually score 2-0. wingz43va was first, and the gif is much better.

After 3hours of dying you receive a bag of gold that has 30g in it

I swear, racists are the least creative people in the world. They haven't progressed beyond "ching chong" when making fun of Asians? Losers.

All of us Deadspin lurkers were impressed, I can tell you that much.

I'm going to assume this means everything in the restaurant breaks down and goes to shit every December, and you can't convince me otherwise.

What fucked-up ridiculous Pixie Stix eating technique are you using? It's not corn on the cob, man.

Candy Corn is the Skyline Chili of candy.

You'd have 100 more stars if that was the Simba pic, but +1 anyway

Fuck you. That's why.

Candy corn is used as a suppository for feral warthogs.

The only baby in a bear suit that I can think of plays quarterback.