If it ever becomes legal in Texas, I’ll try it again, but only if I can find someone who grows the really weak stuff. You’d think there’d be a market for it.

Quick true story. I smoked pot for the first time in 15 years a few weeks ago. I took one puff, thought nothing of it, and a friend popped on the new ducktales show. About 3 minutes in I couldn’t understand what was going on. Friend freaks out because I look completely pale. I felt dizzy and I guess I was breathing…

Thumbs up at least made sense. You give a quick sign to say you’re ok or something is cool. People will know what it means from far away. Dabbing takes a lot more work and looks 100 times more dumb. What does it even mean?

I’m really glad that the nickname I was pushing for as an 11 year old never stuck or else people would be calling me “Chains” all the time. I wore one of those chain link looking dog collars for about 2 weeks and told people to call me that.

[Enter Sandman]

I’m ok with my iBrain.

Our mascot is a pikachu with a dick for a nose. It is no secret.

Sign me up, baby! Not related to any hurricane incidents, but I feel like I should maybe be on that list.

I remember when I was in 2nd grade, my friends and I would always call people by nicknames we made up for them. One kid who never smiled we called Guy Smiley. He hated it and tried to beat us up. Called a guy who was tall and had feathered hair Lorenzo Big Bird. He tried to beat us up too. I think I was an asshole…

I can’t wait to hear how Kermit sounds 600 years from now after 20 people have played telephone with the voice. I like to imagine that he sounds like Chris Rock.

Hey, you’re alright friend.

I can’t believe the lady I jerked it to a few times is such a bitch. If I could take back those strokes, I would, so help me God.

I was probably being a little conservative with the 9 dollar estimate. I know last time I went to the 2 dollar theater, I could have gotten into the theater 7 times or gotten a large popcorn. So your tally is more correct.

Ah, I didn’t realize that. He’s never political in any of his videos, from the ones I’ve seen, so I haven’t taken issue with them.

I don’t know how I originally found his videos, but I’ve been watching Report of the Week videos for about a month. I don’t know why I find them entertaining, but every now and then I’ll throw one up and watch it. I like the food reviews more than anything else. He never gets anything on his suit even though he’s…

Right about now it wouldn’t surprise me if Trump was pro-hurricane.

As one of the weird dressed dudes, I understand that. When I go to San Antonio it’s always strange how many people will stare at me like I’m crazy. Not so in Austin.

I’m wondering if they’ll let me in if I only wear the red nose a la Patch Adams. How much clown is enough to come down?

I’m ok with them policing for cell phoneys and talkers, but then they’d probably see me and my girlfriend pulling food and drinks out of her purse. I’m not going to pay 9 dollars for a popcorn.

It’s a little wet in Austin too, but things are good. I was running out of bottled water in my fridge, so I went to Randall’s and everyone was freaking the fuck out buying up 10 cases of water at a time along with tons of food. Weird stuff. Luckily I got my Ozarka water and got the fuck out of that mess. I’m pretty…