I sometimes wistfully think I picked the wrong year to quit drinking.

All red states, wonder why...

Adding unwanted children to an impoverished situation is the uniquely Arkansas way of achieving the worst poverty level in the U.S. — #1 here they come! 

It’s like they’re physically incapable of even rudimentary truth telling.

I won’t believe it’s her until I see her holding up a newspaper with today’s date.

There is no way Melania wrote that tweet herself. It doesn’t sound anything like Michelle Obama!

I haven’t fucked with Kanye in over a decade and I know who Rhymefest is. If she doesn’t expect the scrubs jocking her on Twitter to know who he is, who is really getting clowned on there?

Jezebel: Kanye and Kim are so last year; please move on.

They are so incredibly BORING! It’s just an endless cycle of babies, exes, and twitter drama. They need to reinvent themselves or go away. Preferably the latter, but we all know that’s not going to happen.

Without the Native’s help, many of the colonist farmers would have died of starvation, because they didn’t know how to work the soil.

I’m not sure this perfectly reasonable assessment of a difficult situation is allowed on the internet.

Cancel Bateman? Are we going... are we going to execute him or something?

I honestly feel like the bar for some people is, “If you’re a man, and you make a mistake, you’re excommunicated.”

I kept reading about how people wanted to not swatch Arrested Development because of this. I get that, but the show is also Jessica Walter’s work as well, of which she’s likely very proud of. I obviously have no idea what her personal thoughts are, but I imagine she wants people to see her artistic work.

when it happens, i’ll get you a cake from publix to commemorate the glorious event.

“Where is the orgasm?”

Please oh please let it be Stephenie Meyer.

Ugh, do not want.

That tattoo is a valid reason for divorce.

I really hate this trend of random, mismatched little quasi-prison tats all over people’s bodies.