It was always a dead-end job.

+1 Rx for Fukitol from Mike Keyster, M.D.

If you’ve lost you’re trying not to lose Kate Upton, use smaller words.

Deadspin needs a poster with handle ‘Randy Moss’ Murderous Side Eye’

Genuinely not sure if that was a real Incognito quote.

Did he go pro? I only remember him from NU.

Stop conflating sports and nationalism??!?!?

Is he related to Dr. Tim Ley?

You can dole out a total of 10 slaps between Roger Goodell, Curt Schilling, and Stan Kroenke. How do you divvy up your slaps? Who gets the slap with the most stank on it?

Tina, dad needs you behind the grill. Also, dad says he’s not ok with you making a life-sized Jimmy Jr. doll out of left over hamburger patties.

Can we get a physician to say that Adelson is actually a living, breathing human being?

Came here for that joke. Am not disappointed.

You must be an absolute shit-ton of fun at parties.

You must be an absolute shit-ton of fun at parties.

+1 double chin.

My two front teeth are fake so I can’t bite into apples. I have to use a knife to cut them up into pieces like I’m a 3rd grader having after school snack. If I’m out and don’t have a knife, my wife will bite off pieces and give them to me. You think braces are bad? Don’t ever lose your front teeth, bruh.

Counterpoint:

I’m glad to see I wasn’t the only person who saw the list of ‘full body’ exercises and said, ‘huh?’. I was under the impression that full body meant, at the very least, ‘more than one exercise’. I like what theunseenone proposed (looks like it might be modeled after Starting Strength?). The routine proposed by…

Did you see that 538 empirically rated dressage as the worst olympic event? AND I DO NOT SAY THAT FROM A PLACE OF FEAR.

Any of you guys Jewel Runners?

Found the crossfitter!