If it takes me longer than 15 minutes, it’s because I’m getting ready to go out and I’m taking frequent wine-sipping breaks.

In fairness, she didn’t say she was anti-makeup just that it shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes.

As our beloved Paula Abdul once sang: “opposites attract.” I love you with all my heart, Mr. Finger, but I had opposite reactions to the first two news items. I was enraged on behalf of Vivienne and Shiloh to discover that the Target didn’t have hot dogs. How well I remember the days when I would go to K-Mart only to…

Seriously. I’m feeling shallow, and petty and mean. Since particularly 45* seems so hung up on looks, why do all of these assholes look like a thumb or Jabba the Hut? I’m so tired of these grotesqueries passing judgment on everyone else.

He’s asking for his best friend, Seabiscuit II.

Go the fuck away, Paris. You’ve had your 15 minutes.

Honestly, I thought the most jaw-dropping quotation from the interview was her description of Drumpf as “good looking.” Bleccch.

FTFY

I can’t wait for her and Hope to battle it out on the next hit reality show The Neo-Führer’s New Trophy Wife.

Majored in Hanson, sure, but with a minor in Kristen Stewart.

He looks like the hippie you’re not supposed to follow to a second location.

LOL I’m not brave, I’m a horny guy who wanted to bang two chicks at once hahahahaha

wait, what? that is a weird family.

I’ve had one threesome, I thought it was gonna be awesome cuz they were both pretty hot, but threesomes are HARD FUCKING WORK

Try to watch out for the potential weight gain. Apparently about 80% of us gain 20 pounds. I wasn’t really paying enough attention, and I did in fact gain that amount. I managed to lose about half of the pounds, but if I had it to do over, I would have tried to keep them from coming on in the first place.

I hope he gets botulism from that nasty chili. Trash motherfucker.

It’s so horrible and scary.

What a weirdo

What. The. Fuck.

Is that why they released him “pending further inquiries”? I hate this guy being free.