They are really naughty and they know it.

My sister and I taught it to him. And he sang and whistled and danced. He was the best.

I’m a ma’am but thankyouverymuch!

Ha! He was probably like “Yeah, look at all this cool shit I can chew on!”

He sounds awesome. Apparently African Greys have the mental ability of a 2 or 3 year old child. Ours was a Blue-fronted Amazon, which are also smart but not as intelligent as an African Grey.

Ha! They really have good senses of humor.

Has anyone looked into the possibility that the bird did it and is framing the wife?

We had a talking parrot when I was a kid and they are so incredibly smart. He would yell “shut the door” whenever anyone left the house and learned to count in English and Spanish from watching Sesame Street with me. His language skills were incredible and he actually adapted and learned. My mom hated him and always…

That is a very timely joke.

YES! Along with anything animatronic. I did not enjoy the Hall of Presidents or the Country Bear Jamboree at Disney. I’m not going to do well when the robots take over.  

GOOD. I used to have a neighbor who did bday parties dressed as a clown and a few times he tried to chat with me while in full costume and all I wanted to do was run away. Apparently I freaked out when my mom took me to a circus when I was 4 and hid in the bathroom until my mom agreed to go home. I wouldn’t say I am…

I know, it’s the worst! Chili should not have cinnamon in it.

Uh, Goop, I think you have enough money to hire more help if you are having trouble meeting those “arbitrary deadlines”...

I would definitely read HoboFlyer Weekly.

I agree - I am judgmental when I see people wearing pajama pants and giant fuzzy slippers on the plane. I’d also like to add a warning to women not to wear pantyhose on an airplane because of the small chance you’ll have to use the slide - your legs will get friction burns.

Or maybe you simply don’t understand the reference in a joke?

Way to miss the joke dumbass.

Apparently they are desperately trying to stop him from finding out that the Steele dossier transcripts might come out soon and that Steele gave up all of his sources. I am really looking forward to the insane tweetstorm that will hit once he hears about it.

I am cracking up at your ridiculous name - I love it so much.

And the insisting sure sounded a lot like wishing it would happen.