I am so sorry for your loss and I know it must still be so raw for you. It truly does get easier, I promise. But you will always have a dad-shaped hole in your heart.

I think I’m one of those people who just doesn’t look “right” in lots of makeup.

I spilled a vial of liquid acid on myself once and it was a very bad night.

Maybe they left them there as a warning to the other peanuts. It’s like a peanut massacre in that photo.

Yes! I’m up to two subscribers!

It’s like you know me.

It’s not about being rejected for one’s looks, it’s more about being accepted because of them. I worked in publishing for years, I can damn well guarantee her first book was marketed by her agent by including a giant head shot. A good-looking writer has it much easier in every way.

That’s Lifetime! They already have the “my boyfriend is an abusive rapist” market covered so I will have to rethink my strategy of the hot love interest always being the murderer. Maybe it should be a woman! Gasp!

This is hilarious!

Doesn’t Kim have gout? He uses a cane! That’s gotta affect his fighting ability.

Make her watch one sci-fi movie for every Hallmark movie you watch, problem solved!

You are my first hire! Horrormark is an inspired name so you can be Chief Creative Director.

Thank you. I can totally see why you found Strictly Ballroom comforting during a crappy time in your life. Sigh, wasn’t it just 1992 a few months ago? Where did the years go?

That sounds very tiring! I just give up quickly because I am bad at it. I tried to do fancy eyeliner (with the wings) once and I looked hilarious.

I think all women over 60 are required by law to watch all of those shows. My guess is that they are comfortable and familiar because they are formulaic (kind of like how kids love scooby doo).

I just invented a new genre in my head - Hallmark Horror. I would love to see Hallmark’s take on a horror movie. The film would begin just like their cheesy Xmas movies - heroine has car trouble and has to remain in a quaint small town that is full of hot single men who all want to date her. But not all is as it…

Assume whatever you want about me, internet stranger!

Now you know why Fonzie was my first crush.

How self-aware of you to realize that about yourself!

I understand her not wanting her young child to be obsessed with her appearance but it’s willful ignorance for her not to admit that some of her success has to do with the way she looks. Do you truly not understand how publishing works?