Francis was really excited, until he realized he'd misunderstood 'chain' for 'game'.

If Gareth Bale knew what it really meant to be a team player, he would have missed the shot.

Raphael Davis: Psst, D.J., guess what? I've been featured on Deadspin twice today and both times I made someone cry.

Signed, Bill Simmons.

I like the chef analogy, as Kobe has always been great at beef.

Anyone who has a first name that is 60% g's, deserves to get hit by a truck.

Pff acting, Littlegood it does him.

Doc, however, is a shoe-in for most defensive coach of the year.

His scouting report indicates that he's really only effective on Saturday Nights.

Dude, never, ever spend your money on Porn, Brazzers isn't worth it!

Shhhh.

Don't worry, olds can pay a premium charge so that they can become compatible with Tinder.

Not a single email. Not one text message. Not even a lonely memo, draft, or letter, a return that ignores what we asked for...

We've all been there.

He'd be perfect as the Knicks mascot.

When did Jaden Smith become Mourinho's spirit guide?

I don't want to spoil anything, but make sure you stick it out to the end.

Iman Shumpert, but only because he's a narcissist.

And regardless of what the health supplement guy at Whole Foods says, Vega One doesn't actually count as eating fruits and vegetables.

Be careful DeMarco, doing signs is what got DeSean Jackson cut.