Sports are a microcosm for society as a whole, and nowhere is that more clear then when reading such an article (and the others that are linked). This story started on Deadspin, and while it has evolved to include larger aspects of what's going on in these kids' lives and the South Side as a whole, what harm does it…

I invented "that's what she said".

I don't know about that, you did okay with the two "I's".

I'm pretty sure it pre-dates both of those stories, as that's how fair-weathered fans have been jeering/cheering for their shitty teams since the dawn of hot takes.

I wish I was that coordinated.

For as bad as Trent Baalke might be at hiring/retaining coaches, he has perfected the Abercrombie & Fitch fake football tossing to yourself look. So there's that.

...he's been trying to develop his own system/formula for advanced #'s.

This is just an attempt by the CBA to recruit Dwight Howard.

+1 inch.

He always wanted to try this in LA, but only Kobe got to handle the balls.

Why are they not applying this logic to the whole team?

I'm starting with the man in the mirror (Ooh!)

Pictured: An artist's rendering of what an older Caligula would look like in a suit.

Ya there cam be a decent tourni every now and then (as long as not linked to work or a huge charity etc). But for the most part, you get stuck next to an awful group, the play is slow as hell, and after your 6 hour round, you get to eat a shitty steak. So an 8-9 hour day to play best ball, is just not how I want to…

The only rule to follow in golf is don't play with assholes who take themselves to seriously. This ensures that I will never have to play with my boss/father in law. And avoid tournaments, they are worse than a mild case of Lupus.

Something something something huge forehead.

Manning tried, but he had no more scalp to give.

Dan Snyder and the Skins get a pass, on the grounds of cultural rights.

If Stephen Hawking's warning about AI is accurate, a ginger robot wins every time.

If asked from the perspective of people who have had to eat their assholes, Prince Fielder and his bean-heavy diet just beat out Jeter, who in fairness, has an ass that tastes like Jelly Bellys.