You better get one. Your kid deserves that candy, probably more than any kid has ever deserved candy.

I think he initially did this as a way to boost ratings for The Apprentice and Miss Universe rather than as a serious attempt to be elected. He filled his “announcement” speach with idiotic, racist ramblings The yes men in his employ and the fellow old money windbags at the country club had always laughed and agreed…

Given the enormous crowds he’s been getting, her tactics seem to be failing.

It’s my understanding that they stay for the whole sentance unless a measure is passed which releases them. I believe Washington state, for example, is currently working on reintegrating the nonviolent offenders and expunging their records, but it’s a process that takes time.

And beautiful women instinctively flock here, like the salmon to Capistrano.

Of course the library did something evil. You wouldn’t see this type of behavior coming from the parks department, though.

Nope. The only person capable of contorting their fingers in the exact way necessary to type “-H” is Hillary Clinton.

...And then they ignore the fact that the Constitution also says they’re wrong.

I don’t agree about condemning the children of anti-vaxxers. That’s some “sins of the father” barbarism we as a species should be past by this point. They’re victims just like everybody else.

My stance has been that anti-vaxxers should each be charged with 7-7.5 billion counts of attempted murder; one per person that their actions are endangering.

Mmm, sacrilicious.

Can bats carry rabbis? Maybe if they work together, like swallows carrying a coconut.

I even love the story of how it came to be. The drought a few years ago killed off a lot of the cherry crop they normally used to make Belgian Red. They took what cherries they could get, added apple and cranberry, and made a whole new thing. It caught on, and now it’s a regular product. The name is perfect for that.

That’s fair. I live just over the Illinois border, directly north of Chicago, so I’m guessing my area’s language usage is heavily influenced by outside sources.

During World War II, the US government spent over 2 million dollars researching the use of bats as living, mobile explosives. The idea was to attach bombs to the bats and release them over Japanese cities. When the bats landed, the explosives would detonate, sewing chaos by starting thousands of fires simultaneously.

I’ve lived in Wisconsin my whole life, and somehow have almost exclusively heard them referred to as “drinking fountains,” or sometimes “water fountains.” Maybe I live in some anomalous area?

Starred for Serendipity. Damn fine stuff.

I used to manage a grocery store in Wisconsin. Fully half (at the very least; usually closer to 3/4) of the back storeroom was taken up by pallets of beer and liquor, often stacked three pallets high. If anything, I’m surprised we didn’t somehow take the entire top 5.

I’ve had this argument with my mother several times. Despite both having no evidence herself, and being confronted with actual evidence from me, she’s convinced that every waiter/waitress walks away with $3-400 a night.

I think he might actually be inclined to side with the waiters on this one. After all, he did accidentally work a day in his life that one time.