These, because of all of the caffeine.  Duh.

The SEC has very strict rules about how any director, officer, executive, employee with access to privileged information, or even anyone who lives with any of the above can sell stock to avoid insider trading.

Probably safer if they strip the interior and convert it to a cargo hauler.  It’ll probably still smell like puke when it sits out on a hot tarmac

objected to the fact that the “British” red appeared above the “Irish” green on the light and threw stones, which they called “Irish confetti,” to break the red bulb.

Yes, it was kept track of.  No, he did not

I’m from the UK, so I’ve seen a lot. We’re worse than Florida when it comes to cheap flights to Spain.

Except that this took place in Saudi Arabia

Bold new advances in the field of sprinkling some crack on him. After all...

I, for one, am glad that Subaru is refusing to give us STI’s.  

You’d think that the back doors of a police cruiser shouldn’t be openable from the inside at all.

You’d think that a cop would know that.  

My guess is that the ABS module was removed to get the engine to fit

Economic inequality is the highest it’s been since before the Great Depression

I would have said that this is a reasonable reaction to having to put up with your neighbor blasting pop music, but apparently South Korea stopped doing that 6 years ago.  

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/22/world/asia/south-korea-propaganda-loudspeakers-north-korea.html

The pilot ejected from the fighter and was transported to the University of New Mexico Hospital with serious injuries

“Stewart-Haas Racing”, huh?

Someone reach out to the “Avocados From Mexico” people.

See also:

As someone else said, doing things in a way that holds up in court is different from doing them the Rohrshach way.

Nah.  More likely he just promised some dumbass kids that they'd get to drive Hellcats. 

Just give Stephen King a Mindy St. Claire-sized duffel bag of cocaine and he'll take care of the rest

Your name wouldn’t happen to be Jeph Jacques, would it?