My mom’s friends will hit her up with convoluted sob stories about how their doctor is on vacation or their health insurance ran out or it’s for their special needs grand kid. It’s pretty depressing.

I broke my elbow last year and stopped taking my pain meds pretty shortly after surgery. Trying to grunt out a goddamn Thermos every couple of days was not great. I truly thought I was going bust a blood vessel in my head trying to back those monstrosities out.

They are, but it’s tough. Shabbat starts at sundown, so it would have to be, like, a Friday morning wedding. In emergency circumstances you see it, but other than that almost never.

LOL, I’m not even Jewish - I’ve just been to several Jewish weddings on Sundays. I think it’s basically any day BUT Saturday.

Ha, we had our’s far enough away to be 100% certain most of her family wouldn’t come when we invited them. It was genius because the like ten living relatives I have made it and the exactly three relatives she’s on daily speaking terms with did.
 
They were invited so they couldn’t bitch, and since we were living on the…

My wife’s friend picked SUPER BOWL SUNDAY one year and it was only when I pointed out this fact that it dawned on them not only the date’s availability, but why it was so much cheaper than all the other dates available. 

That's what the Browns should be asking 

She, her immediate family, and most of her friends lived in Chicago. Everybody from her extended family lived in Georgia, where she had lived till about 10 years before. Lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins came. Having the wedding on the middle day of a three day weekend made it a lot easier for them to get here.

Wifey and I paid for our own wedding, had it on Sunday afternoon, no booze, spent the savings on a house down payment and a kickass honeymoon.

Unless it is a holiday weekend and 90% of the bride’s family is from out of town. That’s why we had a Sunday wedding on Memorial Day weekend long ago. Turns out, a lot of people try that so our engagement was 15 months long.

- Sean Connery

This is the correct take. I’m pretty sure I go through phases of “we” or “they” but people who say “oh you’re on the team” like they just absolutely OWNED you, are the complete worst. Particularly because they don’t realize how much of a douchebag they themselves sound like correcting someone else on something so…

That’s pretty much exactly what my dentist said to me! Except he left out the parts about explaining that it was nerve pain, what caused it, to use fluoride rinse.

I want one of those umpteenth degrees he was talking about

Wait, is that Father Terry from Boston?

Good job, I always say be the change you want to see in the world. 

I feel a certain pride in that we went for the same joke, even if you made it better. 

I liberated my junk from briefs 17 years ago, and there’s no fucking way I’m going back. 

who else did you take?