I sincerely hope that you work the part about letting the baby out of it’s cage into these conversations now and then too. Maybe say “kennel” instead of “cage” to make it a bit more believable... I truly wish I could see the reactions you get. Just don’t say it around any medical professionals, they don’t have much…

Baby Kennel is the more appropriate terminology...less calls to CPS

Parents get so mad when you compare having a kid to having a dog.

Misery you can taste! TM

You’re not wrong. To steal a quote from “Scrubs”, babies are just dogs that slowly learn to talk.

Just bravo. This is perfect.

Bow chicka bow bow

“It’s the name of a player!”
“Ok, why have you been shouting it since the 70s, though?”

Packers fans always make white players their favorites. Chmura, Jervey, Abbromatis, Kuhn, Leohnard, Nelson. 

i’m starring you for creativity

I would like to produce this movie for you, I'll give you a $100 million starting budget

You have a kid already? Didn’t you JUST get married? Damn, time flies when you’re wasting it reading deadspin comments...

Sounds more like a Brewster’s Millions sequel to me.

This is what he decided to do instead of finding time to direct the next Bond movie.

Whenever they come on the radio I’m like “What is with this Zeppelin song I’ve never heard?”

are you a Turano man or a Gonnella man? Ain’t that the question?

goddamn that’s an accurate picture

You can stay in overtown for a very reasonable rate. Check it out.

Even worse is the absurd ‘intoxicated in a licensed establishment.’