He had one job!

It would be cool if, in return for serving as a scapegoat for the gun epidemic, the mental healthcare system actually got some more resources and attention.

“Guns don’t kill people, your prefrontal cortex’s inability to stop ruminating kills people” —American Psychiatrists for Freedom Foundation

Yes. This. I do not in ANY way believe it would impact him, because, well, fuck us, nothing does. But I would take great emotional satisfaction of just knowing there is evidence of his bloated orange body writing beneath a thick stream of Russian hooker piss.

Did the hookers eat asparagus beforehand? We have a right to know!

“Dave’s a killer!”

Dave’s a killer!
Yeah! Dave’s a killer!

Is the answer “Jesus”?

Fuckin’ Christ pop em’!

SHE’S A LESBIAN! A LESBIAN!

FUCKIN MACHINE TOOK MY QUARTER!!

I have watched Slap Shot start to finish probably 10-15 times in my life, and I love it, but there’s a certain amount of trauma that comes from seeing the bare breasts of the mom from “A Christmas Story” in that flick.

They brought their fuckin’ toys!

Sitting on the couch with my wife one night, I see Slapshot on. My wife tells me she has never seen it. I spend the next five minutes telling her it is one of the best, funniest, all time great movies. Paul Newman stars in it!!! To this day, she still doesn’t look at me the same. I guess it is more of a man movie.

You know Toe Blake?

Our line starts?

Are you guys brothers?

PISS ON EDDIE SHORE! PISS ON OLD TIME HOCKEY!

Bleed all over him, let him know you’re there.