You created a kinja account just to write that.

Sometimes people only give a shit about bad things when they happen to someone that they love.  

For the people who will undoubtedly find nothing wrong with this, *cough PATS FANS/FANTASY OWNERS cough* TRUMP*, please just imagine that your mom or sister was a commissioned painter and they come home and tell you this is what happened to them while they were trying to do their job. I’m just gonna guess that you…

Say fuck, you goddamn weiner.

maybe he liked getting jerked off, but it took everyone way too long to do it, so they hurt their arms, but his need to be jerked off was so insatiable that he kept paying more and more people to do it, but no one could get him off, so they just pulled their muscles trying to please him.  

I personally love it. Wait Hold On....THEY’RE LITHIUM!

I watch it once a week to keep me humble

who the fuck is Jesus

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone 10 feet over thine head

how very brave of you

i’m a big picture kind of guy. that speech was seen by millions of people. MILLIONS OF LIVES FOREVER CHANGED.

His life is essentially Scott’s Tots on replay

That “eat the W” speech is still the absolute worst thing he’s ever done.

21 year old me is top 10 least smart mes ever

i’d rather never poop again than hand’em over to the Po-Po

lol ok i’ll go fish’m outta there

Ok, so I don’t want to freak anyone out or anything, but I know for a fact that I watched that Boban man’s death. How is he here?! I SAW THE BOOK GO INTO HIS FACE. THE MAN IS DECEASED AND YET HERE HE STANDS. Were these games played months ago?! Something is very wrong and I need answers

let me tell you somethin, when my parents asked what I wanted to eat, while I was still doped up and leaving the hospital, telling them 2 Cheesey Beef Burritos from Taco Bell was the wrong fucking answer.  To have that in there the longest was pretty not great.

Had ACL surgery a few years back and I got about 10 messages from people asking if I had any leftover pills, people I hadn’t spoken to in years.... I did, as I only took 3 of them and the lack of pooing distraught me to the point where I stopped.  Would rather the searing pain than have all that poo just hangin out,…

No that can’t be it