You sir, have just contradicted yourself. You judge those in socks and sandals and yet want no judgement for those in gloves

this is about the socks and sandals comment...isn’t it

I always clean up after my dog, it’s the least amount of effort you can do to be good, and then I toss them up into the gutters or window sills of those I do not like because I represent the duality of man.   

Sir, I own every Tool record and a Derek Jeter rookie card, so nuts to you

I choose not to be a good person in 2019.  lol look how mad you got

I have fought on this hill here before, but any grown man who brings a glove to a game is a dork and should be treated as such. And I’ve heard all the arguments, like “well I bring it so I can get a ball for my kid”. No you did not, liar. These are the men who wear tube socks with sandals 

that seems like a lot

He’s been nominated for 8 Emmys though...He may not be a household name to us, the people who don’t matter, but I would be that he had plenty of strings to pull when it came to setting his son up for success.  Plus, it’s a personal opinion, but the best stand-up comedians are ones that grew up facing adversity and…

What are you, Amish?  Get a TV, you weirdo, The Righteous Gemstones is on it now!

He dropped that on the floor accidentally on purpose, so you would know that he could get a mega-boner anytime he wants. He big-timed you

It’s shocking, until you remember that he already had a foot in the door because of his dad, that he’s managed to slide by for so long while simultaneously being the most non-essential comedian in recent memory.  I mean, my god, at least Jeff Dunham has puppets, what has this guy done?!  

Chris D’elia. You have a better chance of him yelling at your child in public than hearing him tell a funny joke.  He used his dad’s career as a trojan horse to get into Hollywood and has built a following by being mean to teenage girls on twitter. Arrogant without the accolades to justify it. He is the Trevor Bauer…

My wife doesn’t find most of the things I show her to be funny, but she sure did laugh at that. Those Jeep commercials broke her, she wants to see Jeremy Renner crash and burn now. Frankly, I kinda do too and the man has done absolutely nothing to deserve such spite, except follow his dreams. But I’ll be god damned if…

Eh, fuck’em.  I wouldn’t have remembered I pissed myself if they hadn’t brought it up so many times since then

Twins.....nice

Played with the 5-6 year olds and it was coach pitch until you missed too many pitches and they had to bring out a tee.

To all of you asking why a Tee Ball player was wearing a cup in the first place,

To prevent hit baseballs from crushing my tiny, powerful nuts.

I wore a cup everywhere.  Protect what matters most

When I was 4, I peed my pants during a T-Ball game because I was sure my cup would hold it in. Wouldn’t have been such a big deal had it not been before the game had even started and I wasn’t standing next to the park bathrooms. The cup had holes in it too... Things haven’t gotten much better since then