Deflecting a hockey puck into the net is the most impossible 

Just a sickening feeling

I honestly don’t know if I would be able to continue on if I lost my wife and little girl and the thought of ever experiencing an ounce of what he’s going through is turning my stomach.  Just an absolute tragedy

ur welcome. let me get in that ass now

It is actually not a requirement to comment on a post. I know that’s an idea that is foreign and strange to you, but I promise you, it’ll be alright. 

Can’t believe he openly talks about playing for the Buccaneers...

You can hear me?!

YEAAAAAAAAAH

well that’s just fucking horrible

I get dressed in the dark at 5am. Mistakes happen. And I don’t have hair there, which makes me more aerodynamic 

Yes, I would agree.  Although I did have to email him and ask to be unbanned before and he told me something I hold dearly to this day.  “Not everyone cares what your opinion is”  

maybe you’re just a bad person

fuck you, that’s my water

stick to swimming during thunderstorms 

Do you hit *replay* more than once

Your grandpa sounds like a pretty cool guy

watch a lot of kids pee, do ya?

I mean, that’s a pretty standard response to anyone who asks if they can bring their kid to your wedding, when it clearly says no children on the invite. Don’t care if you’re a Cousin, no kids!

Through trial and error and two past locked accounts, I’ve learned that you can get away with a lot of abuse towards the Deadspin authors as long as it’s not terribly personal. They’ll just ignore you and you keep your approved status.  Everyone goes on living their lives like nothing happened