I wasn’t yelling at my computer screen as I typed that, I’m not a maniac. So no

My wife bought me 12 new pairs of boxers for my birthday, which I was legitimately excited about; as the old pairs had been through a lot, but my excitement was quickly turned to disappointment as I saw they were button fly boxers...  Had to explain to her why this was a bad present now and that no, it’s not the same…

give me money

I appreciate the topical insult, but guess what?  I don’t even sell houses boooooooiiiiii

It is not a sport for weak men. He never should have taken all that money if he knew he was just going to run away from the sport, with his tail between his legs, because he got a couple of booboos. Football is for real MEN and not these entitled CHILDREN who want their paychecks without giving it everything they…

NOT MY QUEEN

He could leave his hat on during the national anthem.

ditto

hey, shut up

You have 3 buildings that meet the measurements required to be labeled a skyscraper.  I researched this to make sure of the accuracy, because last time I drove through I thought I saw 4 tall buildings, but only 3 are big boys.  

The residents of this 3 building having, 4 block fucking town screamed and booed at someone who, until that point, seemed to be one of the least booable people in the entire league. The guy that was set up to be hurt by men who were unqualified to build a team around him. It’s a shame and a relief that it came to this.

alright, everyone just settle down

I dated a bulimic girl for a few months and her favorite food to throw up was all of them. Felt like George Costanza, why am I even paying for dinners?

Yes and it was his phone that they had hacked.  

I mean...of anyone in the MLB, Verlander especially has the right to be super protective over who has access to his cell phone information.

And then the father starts eating everyone’s asses!

Sounds like your grandmas recipe fuckin suuucks

“hey, what’s the matter...”

and she’s also a reason Drew is still alive

oh no