I still stand for that flag, for I am not a soyboi cuck

grab her by the wolf pussy

try to remove a deceased parent’s head one time and they label you brain damaged...unbelievable

Say what you will about Rex Ryan, but he is an excellent judge of character and someone who will always voluntarily walk a mile in another person’s shoes.

He is a terrifying person

An improvement on the Halle Berry take

My wife goes for all the outside pieces of brownies and that’s why I asked her to marry me 

I do this with most baked goods, just eat the middle, leave the outsides. Made my dad almost cry out from pure rage when I did just this to a tray of brownies, so I get it. But there’s no crust to avoid, the texture of the pancake stays fairly consistent, if made right. So maybe there’s just something wrong with his…

oh i’m picking out a thermos for you!

Laugh now, but as soon as Tebow’s penis enters that first verginer, he’s going realize his full potential and that he was the chosen one all along and he’ll gain super powers and lightning will shoot out the tip of this penis, just like Thor in that Avengers movie.  And God will make it rain on us ignorant bitches

If anything, it’d make him more relatable

I hope the aliens are real, but they’re the bad kind and they just blow up the earth. this is all just too exhausting; also, if you they let you have sex with them, that’d be pretty cool too, just to see, yah know.

There should be blood in your shit, idiot

If you shit yourself during a meeting, you double down. Bend over in pain, with your head down on the table, and then while hidden, stick your fingers down your throat and throw up all over yourself. You’re going to want to keel over next and writhe on the ground in agony.

please, no more.  this is all so depressing

My first thought while watching the video and saw her in yoga pants is, oh great, there’s probably people that have jerked off to this, this is a thing isn’t it.  i have lost so much hope for whatever humanity we have left

Warum, Herr Redford?  Warum...

this is the stupidest goddamn thing i’ve seen on this website, and I watched the entire video of Barry killing himself with scrambled eggs.  fuck

Damn whoever brought him up out of the greys, I wasn’t going to acknowledge his existence.

dont forget the boy