I, personally, would be furious. My household is illegal-substance-free, even the soft stuff, because of my husband's job (trust me when I say my activities could get him in trouble too) and so I do not do it. I also have some medical things going on which mean in this situation I would be more likely to assume I was…

Your comment sounds straight up like Stefon.

Yeah, I'm feelin' you. I'm teetotal (religious reasons), and if someone dosed me with drugs/booze without my consent I would be PISSED.

Have to agree. Who knows what kind of relapse that might have triggered in someone in recovery, for instance?

Really, if anyone's going to be down with that, it's a distinguished professor.

The best part was that when my mom came to get me after I got fired (I was 16 — I couldn't drive myself yet!) she wanted to stop by the mall on the way home. There was a fancy new store that sold tapes and CDs (! — hey, this was 1986!) opening up, and they were setting up the store. In a fit of bravado I asked if they…

NSFL that shit

I feel terrible about how much I enjoyed that.

God damn it! I want to make fun of him so bad but he obviously has very serious mental health and drug problems and needs treatment. We all need to support him with arms wide open.

Keira having kids:

No, I think it means that he gets replaced by a guy who looks kind of like him, but you never see his face, once things get really going.

Yeah, exactly. She's not in jail yet so why act like it now?

I don't know, I mean, if I was going away for over a year I might be living it up with pasta and wine too. I can't fault her for that.

Zayn was not in the picture because he was too busy saving your life:

You're doing fine. Celebrities reading inappropriate books to children and attempting to get into the sex toy business 15 years post-relevancy get the Colin Farrell face.

I think Teresa Giudice's approach to being close to going to jail seems fine. Not like a temper tantrum is going to help at this point.