Seriously, I want a book from this guy. SIT DOWN, DAVID SEDARIS

I clicked the link to tumblr and found this jewel. This had to be posted:

Put these breadsticks inside of you until you can't do that thing anymore.

a cooOoOOoooky youth pastor that was totally down and hip to our jive and cooly fresh yo, and understood our young feels, and, "...word, dog. I get you. I GET you, and Jesus gets you. Isn't that so dope and slammin'? Let's pray."

I hope it wins everything! It's so good.

This is how nerdy I am: I'm on pins and needles til they announce the classical categories at 2pm. But! My spouse is on the short list to be nominated for several categories including best instrumental soloist! I WANNA GO TO THE GRAMMYS CEREMONY THIS YEAR YOU GUYS! I can't post this on my usual social media…

I think you are the only one, yes.

I am, admittedly, a reluctant Mariah apologist, but that being said, I think it's possible that she was just having an off day. Maybe she had a cold, or maybe the weather was trying her out. Hope so at least, because she used to have an 8 octave range (which is insane), and it would be kind of tragic if she'd really…

marble mouth getting taken out by an angel is all well and good, but can we please talk about THE GREATEST ED SHEERAN PHOTO OF ALL TIME:

Azealia gives me Kanye feels. Like I hear you, yas I get you, but also could you maybe sit down for a second and like idk get a rough draft together?

I think some of this can be attributed to outdoor performance. She does well enough until around 1:43.

Still better than a lot of other people have done.

I'm sorry but this is bullshit. If you heard probably 99% of the pop stars these days sing live "unplugged" with no reverb or accompaniment I doubt it would be much better. Beyonce can't sing half as well. Mariah has some def vocal problems, wear and tear from all the riffing and over singing, but this is unfair…

Martha always wins.

Essential oils are the hot new MLM nonsense across middle America right now. I know tons of women that are into it, and it's not just aromatherapy shit they tout. They are woo peddlers of the highest order. Oils will prevent cancer! Oils will cure your kid's autism! It's awful.

I cannot tell you how many people in my FB newsfeed were claiming YL oils will help prevent Ebola at the zenith of the "scare" in the US.

I have a daughter with cerebral palsy and the number of people marketing YL oils as a "cure" for spasticity in CP support groups is downright DISGUSTING. CP is caused by damage to the brain, and no amount of lavender scented bullshit is going to fix that. I also have two kids that are adopted, and the amount of oil…

I know at least 10 people who sell Young Living oils and SWEAR they are a cure-all for any and everything. These people are also super Holy rollers. It drives me absolutely insane.

when it comes to essential oils, no one should consider them cures for actual illnesses. They are great for stress/tension relief, use in diy skincare products, and the like. I too like YL's products, though I agree they are very expensive.

Young Living products are actually pretty nice. They're high quality and have some good formulations. But they're overpriced essential oils, not miracle drugs, and the reps are really hard-sell snake oil salespeople. Anna is clearly not well educated, in a tough situation, and I can see how they bamboozled her. That…