hellosunshine
hellosunshine
Things like this remind me why I only believe in a Heaven for dogs.
my dream is to have retta (from parks and rec) host a late night show. Srsly. How amazing would that be?
Please tell me more tales of your charismatic fine ass family.
Well it sounds like you lucked out in that the apple rolled as far away from the tree as was possible.
Trust me, something that most people don't know about me is that I'm trained and qualified to do CPR, AED, CERT, Childbirth and Advanced First Aid. I got my shit on lock.
This isn't a horror story as much as it's a story about family craziness. My dad's family is kind of big. He's one of 6 kids, 5 boys. All of my uncles and my dad...well, they're whores. Like...seriously. They are a group of good-looking black men with former military service, good jobs and cool personalities and that…
It's not much of a horror story...
One Thanksgiving, my teeth were just starting to come in. I was miserable and crying. My material grandmother, a lovely and tiny woman from Ireland, decided the best thing for me was to rub whiskey on my gums. Unfortunately, she didn't realize my paternal grandfather, an ex-Navy Italian from Queens, was doing the same…
You know how there's all this stuff about gun control and everything? Do you ever sit and wonder what kind of people are fighting to keep assault rifles legal, want their kids to be allowed to take guns to school, etc? The ones who idolize Bush Jr. and make racist jokes about Obama? Who think Christians are oppressed?
I don't know what happened here...but I like it.
Everyone immediately runs for the booze. An hour or so later somebody remembers the whole Hunger Games theme and tries to do the whistle, failing miserably and inspiring a chorus of "say it, don't spray it.". An argument breaks out over whether the salute has two fingers or three, inspiring many single-finger salutes.
Clover, who has just been standing there watching, wins.
PAGING HUMAN RESOURCES
1) I am black. There's a picture of me right there.
Growing Pains reboot!
I never thought of fett alf as a dessert but if they can invent the cronut why not.
" I broke the law and then punished my son when he tried to do what he thought was right. Isn't that a hilarious anecdote where I don't come off looking terrible at all?!"