nvm. it's an asian black bear. them ears!

Yes, but does it come in red?

Jess is annoying. The show would be better as a buddy comedy. Schmidt is a gold mine. Fat Schmidt is a liquid gold mine.

Yes, same. I mean, I am an high-functioning alcoholic, but I'm not doing anything drastic to fix it. My husband and I recently realized we were both alcoholics, so we resolved to stop drinking... And that turned into "except on weekends!" which became "... and after a long day, but just a six-pack" and then "...…

He also was on Xanax illegally, was smoking pot, blocked off a residential road so he could drag race down it, and is under age. That's most likely the fallout from all those things, not one beer.

It's hard to take this review seriously when there was a sponsored article yesterday

Judging from how I looked the one time I got detention, my hypothetical mugshot would look something like this:

Man I got reamed in a recent Dirt Bag comments because I dared to suggest this paring isn't the result of Tru Luv. Captian Jack Obvious of the HMS Midlife Crisis over there, you know?

I'm glad the headline specifies "Your BFF Jennifer Lawrence..." Because if it had just said "Jennifer Lawrence" I probably would have been really confused. Which Jennifer Lawrence are the talking about? There are so many Jennifer Lawrences in my life that entertainment websites might be posting stories about. I would…

When she was younger, my mother looked like Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music. When I was three or four I kept wondering where my other, older siblings were and asked my Mom if the Nazis got them. I was not the smartest of children but by god was I adorable.

Cause she is on a show most people watch.

J'accuse, David Cross.

I like that you followed up Chet Haze's bitchtweet with a charming tweet by his much more likable brother. Let's talk about tiny airplane movie screens, Colin!

I would 'marry' him like it was my job. In a plane, on a train, next to Bane, on the phone with Barack Hussein.

Fuck: Michael B. Jordan. Although warning, ladies...if you fuck him, he'll lose respect for you. (http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/…) But that's why I chose him for this category. Because I want nothing to do with him...than to do him.

This is the correct answer.

Fuck: Zac Efron, Marry: Michael B. Jordan, Kill: Miles Teller—I've already killed him multiple times in my mind during the preview for this movie.

I initially read (and then re-read) the headline as "sex panthers". I continued to be confused until I was 1/3 of the way through the article.

OMG, I want! THAT FREAKIN' SMILE. Good thing I've already had two babies because my ovaries just exploded. Boom. Done.

Goodness, this man has it going on.