A few years ago I went to a theme party that was basically The Sound of Music in a gay crackhouse. We ended up with a few tag lines that are probably not suitable for straight audiences but damn if this post doesn't remind me of them:

- I am 16 Going Down on 17
- These are a Few of My Favorite Queens
- The Pills are…

All I got from this is that 18.5 million people showed up to work hungover as fuck this morning from drinking games.

Well, Maria is a nun-school dropout who married her boss. I wouldn't take my relationship advice from her, either.

I generally find VSB entertainingly trifling. But they were on the nose when they declared Scandal the weekly equivalent of that Auburn vs. Alabama Iron Bowl game.

Cyrus begins to cry.

Look what I made.

I yelled, "Say weeee bitch!" In front of my children. My emotions got away from me.

You cast Julie Andrews.

How baller would it be if ABC broadcast the REAL Sound of Music during this same time slot? Just to fuck with them. Then all the people who are hatewatching this could find refuge in the best movie on earth...

This is going to be like finding out that Mia Farrow was watching Sharknado.

It sure is.

And with that, many an Internet commenter will be forced to eat his or her words. Not that they will learn anything from it or change their behavior. I was just bemoaning the insistence...almost to the point of compulsion...of people to shit all over victims before all information becomes available. It's not as big of…

He DOES look like Skarsgard!

The only sandwich I'd make that smug-looking fuck would consist entirely of knuckles.

Oh, right. This is the clown that she thinks looks like Alexander Skarsgaaaaarrrrd. Maybe if you fell down 7 flights of stairs, got beaten over the head with a baseball bat, stuck your eyeballs in a vat of acid, and went into a coma.

There it is.

The women in this ring were apparently fellow female soldiers who were struggling with their finances, and were approached through an Army sexual assault and harassment prevention program.

John Mayer. It will probably be not terrible and your 'would you rather' scenario makes it sound like we do this only once?

In fairness, the flight was cancelled because of a mechanical problem, just not one with their plane.