That I would leave an upper decker at Zach Snyder's house?

...looks around in confusion trying to find anyone saying anything like what you're yelling about....

He's like the Swedish Chef's significantly less-adorable, drug-addicted brother who the Swedish Chef refuses to publicly acknowledge.

So what are "Crisp Napa tips?" Are they fried sliced Napa cabbage?

Try re-reading this article, and then read the linked articles before you start asking admittedly stupid questions. It's all there. Why should anyone else do your homework for you?

"a female"?

I wore a black tea-length dress with white tulle poking out the bottom, a massive white bow in my hair, and red lipstick. Fuck it. I love my prom photos. I was hot. And no high-low hems to be found. Prom sucked, though. My date came out. And I got food poisoning at Olive Garden.

That was hilarious, just misunderstood. A lot of people don't seem to realize how big a freaking dork Peter Parker is, and how much a failure he would be at attempting a "bad boy" persona. You were meant to be laughing at him. I've seen that sequence characterized as an "unintentional joke", but the joke was quite…

I take any review that says "I fucking loved it. It's visually and sonically amazing. Electro fights with dubstep!" with a huge grain of salt - because fights with dubstep sounds terrible.

Ok no. Everyone knows that this is going to be the song of the summer. I can not NOT dance to this lady.

This song makes me want to buy active wear from Target and slam a Mio-infused alkaline-water while uploading sic vids of me surfing and/or shredding to my Instagram.

I choose liking good music.

more like

Oh. So a 2014 "Summer Girls" with a re-tooled LFO. :\ Will this mean a reappearance of all the other awful shit from 1999? This is the most frustrating thing I've heard all day and I AM ON THE LAST 2 HOURS OF THE PILLARS OF THE EARTH AUDIOBOOK.

Yep. Earcatching, but not earworm-with-a-dash-of-nostalgia.

Lip piercing? I didn't know we teleported back to 2003 Vans Warped Tour.

I'm not saying this won't happen, but if it does it'll be an outlier because this song doesn't have the necessary broad appeal to be a "Song of the Summer," which, I guess, I will accept as a thing that can be definitively decided.

so excited by the headline. so disappointed by the song. i really hope my summer doesn't sound like this.

Did it come out in Summer? Sure...in Australia.

Ah, spring break. That awesome time of year when we lower-middle-class students had plenty of hours to work at low-wage jobs to earn some extra money! There was always time to drink late at night in the park behind the tennis courts, though.