[. . .] (and former California lawyer) Scott Boras [ . . . .]

Man’s got to have a code.

you know what, maybe i do want to be a pariah. maybe i want to show up to work in leggings and a cowboy hat and platform shoes sometimes because it makes me feel good. maybe, just maybe, i like to live a little. so take your conservative approach and throw it in with the chili. don’t tell me how to live my life.

This reply is completely authoritative, given your handle. +1

Never ever splash your private matters all over the Internet. Keep them in the locker room where they can be covered up unless one of those perverted lady reporters sees it and then what will we have it’s just not right I have nothing against the girls and the girl said you’re right about that I feel nothing against…

In his defense, Cooley was a 19th century term of affection for Chinese and other Asian native laborers and is not an offensive thing to call a pro football bloviator. In support of this theory, here is an unverified e-mail from an actual 167-year-old Punjabi ditch-digger.

Ya but are Flacco and Eli elite?

Not to worry, the Raven fans will continue to be antagonizing DBs.

Quoth the Raven, nevermore.

This is the payoff on the long con of typewriter inventor Jerry Qwerty.

Why do you hate Protecting The Shield?

Future generations of NFL fans may not know which team circles their wagons best. I envy them.

I assume the back surgery is an exploratory procedure in which they’ll be looking for something resembling a spine.  

Who would’ve thought the Diamondbacks could be so cold-blooded.

Schrodinger’s QB: four but also none.

I LOL’d at my desk for ‘swoled out’

I LOL’d at my desk for ‘swoled out’

This petty cattiness is more worthy of Carrie Bradshaw.

Thunder GM: Hey Russ, I’m just calling to make sure you know the new Durant rules.

Especially all the Evangelicals who came out in droves to vote for a person who had long been a personifications of excess and greed. It’s like that Bible passage about how it’s way easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle if you grab it by the camel pussy.

+15 yards.