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I like your use of thirsty, because it applies literally (i.e. figuratively) or literally literally (i.e. literally).

isn’t allowed to be on the ballot twice

He wants a woman with back problems, apparently.

I’m with you. And I am totally *not* pro-pedophiles etc. etc.

NOPE.

No, he chases my feet while I’m holding hot liquids because he’s a dick and steals my food when he manages to trip me and food falls off my plate because he is a dick but I love the little son of a bitch.

Obligatory

Good for you Leah Remini.

I WAS NOT EXPECTING IT TO MAKE AN ACTUAL "SQUEE" NOISE

I'm really, really sorry that you know that.

I always heard "same assholes everywhere" but yours seems to work, too, sadly. :(

Oh please expand on cutting weed down with other drugs. I am dying to hear this.

Pretty sure that brother is just Ri's voice pitched down. Even better.

That dress, oh you jewel of a woman. That dress is terrible in concept, execution, color, everything. Otherwise, I'm relieved she had a cursing stage, because I no longer feel like a weirdo. I too had a very distinct cursing stage at age 11, and it lasted a few months. Then I went back to keeping it all inside.

*sees picture of Serena doing a handstand*

That stumped me too. He is a weirdo's weirdo. How is he charming at all?

Yeah, I'm actually really upset about this. I don't know anything about this guy, I've never paid much attention to the Houstons and Brown, but as someone who has had multiple nervous breakdowns, it's pretty obvious he's in the middle of one. I would be horrified and humiliated if someone took advantage of my…

Someone who is completely wasted, severely depressed, and deeply misses the people he grew up with. Mental illness and depression are so intense. As someone who went through a very intense depression and self medicated, the thoughts that I had and things I said were pretty much just like this. It was really tough to…

I want to laugh at it, but damn, I'm not even that shallow. Everyone in that video needs help. Even Dr Phil. You gotta be a really messed up person to profit off of this misery.