Second place is the first loser. And Rubio nearly put Mein Trumpf in 3rd place. Yeah, he’s a real winner. Shadenfreude: feel it burn.

I’m SUPER enjoying his lily-white cry face.

You are not wrong.

Aww, man. I mean, sure. He’s evil. But at this point, don’t you feel just a little bit bad for how poorly this turned out for Jeb!? It’s gone cartoonishly bad. It’s like, Jeb! sent away to the ACME Corp. for a campaign kit & some roadrunner seed and now it’s all just anvils dropping on him.

Yes, Amaya was irritating, but nobody was more annoying than Kaia.

Hawaii was my fav season. So much drama and comeuppance. Ruthie’s alcohol problem. Amaya and Colin. Kaia and what’s his face with the awful green terrycloth shirt. Tec being all mad because Ruthie broke a glass in the kitchen. Good stuff. I think the first Vegas season was when it became a sleeze fest. And I’m a huge…

I’ve been singing “Keep on, til the fun stops, don’t stop til you get enough.” for 30 years. Harrumph.

I have a massively uptight, pearl-clutching, judgmental roommate who I loathe. I may print out and post this article on the refrigerator. Just for fun.

Obama had me at the Hamilton ref. Cartoon hearts are circling my head.

Look, I love a good outrage just as much as the next guy, but I’m not seeing it. Why are we supposed to be angry about this? Because it was Sean Penn and not a professional journalist who conducted the interview? Because Penn didn’t disclose El Chapo’s whereabouts to autorities? I don’t have an issue with either of…

They should just call these tired old shows what they are: Aged Former MTV Reality Show Participants With No Other Prospects

I still just can’t get my head around the fact that some people out there are stupid enough to want to vote for Candidate Twitter Beef for POTUS.

Interesting that those photos of the bruises all over Beth’s arms and legs aren’t enough “proof” of abuse for the asshole who put those bruises there. Cry me a river, buddy. And good luck ever getting laid again. #AsItShouldBe

“Got schlonged?” Does Trump even know what that actually would mean in Yiddish? It doesn’t mean losing an election. In fact, it kind of means having a good time. It just doesn’t even make sense to say Hillary “got schlonged.” She was penised? Huh? And then he made a big to-do about her going to the bathroom & said it…

Wait - so I’m trying to figure out the logic here. There are 50+ accusers who have come forward, but Cosby is only suing 7 of them because it’s a counter suit to their lawsuit against Cosby. Okay, so here’s the interesting thing: ALL of the women have told their stories to the media, but only 7 are suing. Allegations…

I don’t know why either, but me too! She just seems smug.

I actually enjoyed the whole season of Scream Queens, despite my white-hot hatred of Lea Michele and Emma Roberts. After seeing her comedic chops, I have some newfound respect for Emma; I still can’t stomach Lea Michele. Jamie Lee Curtis’ deadpan delivery of lines like, “I remember that little girls’ face in the…

I knew the name would be something unusal, but I was expecting something more along the lines of Publicity or Ego.