“All you have to do is go look at video and try to count the number of pitches they have thrown over the heart of the plate,” Bautista said. “It hasn’t been many. They’ve been able to do that because of the circumstances — that I’m not trying to talk about because I can’t. That is for you guys to do, but you guys…

Cleveland’s response

Obvious explanation is that with the exchange rate, Toronto only receives 75% of the calls.

I know someone who is very happy by this.

If he was going to invade, the least he could have done was taken the IRS’s oil.

Hey, he’s going to make Christmas great again!

I’m not going to say Matt Ryan or Stafford are amazing QBs (or Joe Flacco, etc.), but I’m not sure what choice those teams had. As we have seen, it’s really rough out there if you’re looking for a good QB! Matt Ryan is getting paid like a better Qb than he is, but the chances of the Falcons ditching him and then…

Is there a joke I’m missing here? Marino retired in ‘99.

Miko Grimes is smiling down from Heaven

Well (unless I missed something), he doesn’t actually say that Townsend’s statement was incorrect. So it’s still possible his father is voting for Clinton. He’d just prefer that it remain on the DL, because it’s apparently less shameful for a Republican to vote for a hate-fueled and dangerously unstable cretin than…

Are you really gonna do this for every Cardinals win this season? Really?

How dare someone—a Kennedy no less!—listen to the words of not just a man, but an old man.

The good people of western Pennsylvania are just excited to kiss their sisters.

“Ties were not uncommon occurances back in the old days.”

Slow news day, huh?

Diner: “Can I have the double bacon cheeseburger, fries, beer and the injured player walk-through special please.”

Waiter: “Would you like the special teams player injury or can I interest you in upgrading to a starter?”

Don’t watch the NFL if you can’t stomach graphic violence.

This is Penn State. If they get your asshole, they're not giving it back.

Just incredible assholes. Makes me boil with anger. I kinda want to fight these guys.

Can’t wear white after Labor Day. Fools