Oh man! his wife is gonna be piiiissssssed.

Remember when those guys seemed ridiculously obese?

He is solely responsible for the greatest joys in my Bears fan life.

He wuz gud

This use of language is INSANE.

Phil wanted to throw them out, so he just grabbed ‘em by the posse.

You’re conflating the rule that defines a player in a defenseless posture with the specific rule to protect QBs from getting hit in the head. The latter—Rule 12.2.9, which I cite above—applies to “[a]ny physical acts against a player who is in a passing posture (i.e. before, during, or after a pass).” I’ll stick to…

I saw a similar scene at a fancy dwarf wedding with an open bar.

One bled over the cuckold’s nest

I’m going to change my name to “3-1 lead”. Im going to get blown so much more.

Some perspective on how historic this is:

Update: Tony Romo was also injured on the play.

$3.99 for unlimited switches

I wish I had this feature for subtlety telling my wife that she doesn’t fit into that dress anymore.

“Hi! It looks like you’re trying to run an A-2 Gap Slant? Would you like help running an A-2 Gap Slant?”

Q: What do the Last Supper and the Arizona Fall League have in common?

4(0) days and 40 strikes

“Tim Tebow Saves First Base For Marriage”