“Plug” is usually slang for a connection to either drugs or weapons. Based on his “I can’t help you find Samp” line, someone is looking for weed. “Samp” being a reference to Sampson Simpson from Half-Baked. I hope that helped.

“Uh, yeah, my name is...Billy. Uh, Billy......Football.”

This definitely won’t Sitwell with anyone in Browns’ management.

There were no formalities needed to ‘fire’ Jim Tomsula. They just don’t pick him up from the day laborers in the Home Depot parking lot anymore.

New Year’s Eve is also one of two holidays designed explicitly to be out of the house to celebrate (St. Patrick’s Day the other; Valentine’s Day is another possible one). Thanksgiving and Christmas are holidays spent at home with family and friends and, likely, with a television on at some point.

That is so incredibly head-up-the-ass from ESPN I don’t know where to start. There’s already a day that people think of as college football day, namely “I’m glad we made a New Year’s Day bowl this year, it was a good season.”

The other problem with making NYE a sports day for any sport is that it’s not a day off the…

And so began Jason Whitlock’s clever plan to assassinate the entire Deadspin staff.

It happens to me all the time and it makes me want to punch things.

The best part of Io9 was that it was not Gizmodo. The commenters on those sites are like night and day.

My parents are coming from out of town tonight. I’ve been cleaning all morning so I have a question:

Cheap champagne, as God and civic duty demand.

Who hasn’t thought about punching a bike cop?

the way he expresses his enthusiasm as to the injured players on the field is cause enough to toss this fucking roid head

That’s a polar bear you dunce.

Better Geno Atkins come in your face than Pacman Jones shoot all over your back.

I’m no prude, but those emojis are a little too graphic for my taste.

Miko....That’s....That’s not how birds work at all.

“I can do for you what I did for Ryan Howard and Ryan Zimmerman!” is the worst drug dealer pitch of all time.

This will almost certainly put him at odds with former teammate and notorious crip Wes Welker.