“Thanks, but I’ll just stick with the BLT.”

Mariota’s injury is nothing serious, especially compared to Jake Locker suffering a detached retina while watching that hit.

Disrespectfully disagree

Personally, I would give Ozzy Osbourne credit for starting bat flips as a point of commentary.

I want to share this on Facebook and unfriend everyone that says anything bad about it. The Bautista Bat Flip is way better than any political litmus test. If you hate this, I probably hate you.

Take that Brian McCann you fat fuck.

The baby will probably have a bruise on their head, but it could have been much worse. Thank God the fans were only throwing light beer cans.

For such an anti-Left stooge, he sure took a lot in government handouts. Must be a Republican.

Lincoln Chafee seems like a more chipper, but approximately as confused, version of Tom Coughlin.

Presidential hopeful Lincoln Chafee

Police say there is no clear motive for the attack.

Mr Burns mirror blocks out the sun

So the shooter was egged on, fell from a wall, and was injured in the fall. I think we’re looking for Humpty Dumpty.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, a person hailing from the New England area is shot in the head while visiting Dallas.

This story is being blown completely out of proportion. Greg Hardy was simply leaving the stadium after the game.

Do I have to? I’m afraid he might take out my legs when I go for second base.

Please learn the difference between “then” and “than” before calling anyone dumb.

What about Doc Gooden? That guy had great stuff. I mean, his stuff was primo.