So silly of the NFL to think Judge Berman would have their back back back back ba- [shot by sniper]

You misspelled violence.

Every time I see that “Concussion” is the real, actual name for this movie I burst into laughter.

“Like a good neighbor, state farm is there.”

- Stalin, to the Ukrainians

Add a comma and it makes more sense.

He hit just .230 and had a 29-percent strikeout rate in the first half, but made up for all the whiffs by hitting for power and walking a ton.

In regards to his BABIP, even young Joc himself knows, it’s going down.

Doctor: Bryan, do you know where you are?

The last time I saw that many personlized handshakes Michael J. Fox was sending out Christmas cards.

A baby with 1 Charisma? Really?

dammit

2. when these showed up in Deadspin’s chatroom, someone at the office shouted, “YOOOOOO, THUMB DEAD?

And they still gave him the white fleshtone ace bandage. SMH.

Pretty sure Jon Stewart has been wearing suits for the whole run of the show.

This comment is brilliant. “Tom Lady.” It’s funny because people with vaginas suck! “Under oath of perjury.” Someone frequently has episodes of Perry Mason on when they are passed out drunk! And I love the idea that you think a person in a civil case discussing non-criminal conduct can “plead the 5th.” What a cherry,…

I’m not a lawyer so I don’t actually know shit, but I do like to hear myself talk, and reading through the petition it seems to me that Brady has a pretty decent case. To me the most important part seems to be previous acknowledgements that Goodell must recuse himself when his own conduct is at issue, as well as a…

If anything jumps out at you, drop it in the comments:

JJ Watt is “God Bless the USA” in semi-human form.