"Respect the A" is also one of the unwritten rules of the porn industry.

At least Bryce Harper still respects the unwritten aspects of baseball.

Jamie Moyer fell victim to a similar miscommunication when a dot was mistaken for a dash.

I'm not from Tampa Bay. Only marine life is from Tampa Bay.

+1

A very confused Bengals front office immediately offered him a five-year, $100 million contract.

To be fair, he was definitely on the floor.

I guess up until recently the only scout Finch ever saw was in a book.

Poulson thanks the Prune Packers for helping improve his pitching control and putting him on the map. Though he once struggled with inconsistency, he has recently become extremely regular.

"So I was just forced to watch this morning's First Take..."

"Upon seeing this, ESPN executives immediately set upon rectifying the situation: Terminating Beadle and apologizing to Smith and Bayless for any offense her comments may have caused."

I love that he wastes so much time with tough-guy posturing, too. He makes sure we know he'll kick an ass if it touches one of his female possessions, though said possession could save him the trouble by rethinking her tone before it gets that far.

Q.E.D.

Since we're on the subject, I'm going to leave this recent gem from the Ray Rice post here in case anyone needs more evidence of his stupidity.

They're not pocketing anything. They are investing in their ballpark without public funding, the correct way.

The idiocy of this comment epitomizes your entire tenure at Deadspin.

My god, are you new to this website? You must be new to this website.

Pardon me if I'm misunderstanding, but watchin football with girls sounds awesome.