is it weird that I don't really care about any of this, I'm going to get an id bracelet, that donates my body to science. The funeral business is such an extortionist industry, I would hate for my loved ones to be burdened with such an unnecessary expense.

Wait - you're being serious?

I didn't marry until my 40s, and if it's any help I can assure you that the supply of hot cousins never really dries up, it just gets slightly more creaky over time.

I used to have a cat who was obsessed with eating potato and sweet potato peels. Raw ones, but especially baked skins. He'd also eat carrot peels, papaya skin, and melon rinds.

Uh I hit three at once, like a few weekends ago. Sooooooo.

UGH, I'm with you, cat

I appreciate your usage of "assbuttery" ... and in other news I'm hungry.

6. (translation) the lady's got game and the man's jelly.

Upwards of 3 is unacceptable? I've had days where I've done worse.

"anything more than that is unacceptable"

ughhh the fact that we have statutes of limitations on rape is the wooooooooooorst

Let's Bleed Wall Street Criminals...

Hands up: who skipped the video and went right to the comments?

You're steaming hot, my friend. Bring your polarsexual hotness over here. You know what? It will take us 30 minutes to undress, let's forget about it.

We have one man to blame.

wow im wet

Its not a good looking shirt and its not very appropriate for the workplace. But of course the perfect response to a mild joke is aggression. Ya know, I could have sworn that women were supposed to be the emotional gender, but apparently that's not true on the internet.

At first glance, I just thought it was an ugly shirt. And then I realized it's ugly and grossly misogynistic.

Ugh. Are people going to threaten to kill me for saying that?

Your dick is small ya ya ya

JUSTIN UNFOLLOWED SELENA ON INSTAGRAM?!?!?!?!