you have the right to have a religion but it's mostly going to be mine because you're not free of religion

Beyond local elections, there are often no viable third party candidates on the ballot either. And I'll probably always vote democrat over Hitler. Sorry.

Yeah. Hi. Full-time job, school-aged child, spouse who also works full-time, full-time law student with an hour commute (before traffic) at both ends of a 16-hour day here. Most days I don't have time to pee as often as I should.

What's shocking is that 20 years ago, Williams's behavior towards Ann Richards and that rape comment sunk his political career. Today? He would be a hero in the Republican party. That's how much things have changed.

My TX state senator and state representative are Democrats!

I don't understand why my state hates having good things, but I'm proud of Wendy and glad I voted for her regardless.

And then they waited outside the bed chamber until the blood stained sheets were produced.

Um, actually it's not about his penis. It's about ethics in journalism.

Quick poll: do you think this elderly writer who is concerned about her looks most resembles (a) Chris Evans, (b) Taye Diggs, or (c) a yak's scrotum?

"...fantasized about you for years..."

"...several decades older than you." Ew.

Kate

I used to want to be with you, but now you only eat Nothing Burgers. I'm only taking this opportunity to write to tell you that you should stop eating Nothing Burgers. What does your cat think of this??

As a gynecist, insult-babies are the only babies I don't murder.

In my last year of university I worked at a sports bar, which was a lot of fun - great atmosphere, relaxed, easy job, decent money, and an AWESOME management team that I was very appreciative of (and vocal about my appreciation). I was told on my first day that we are not to tolerate abusive or aggressive behaviour…

I'm glad his neighbor wasn't the type to slam their door in your friend's nose and state "I couldn't care less."

"Hold up. You sure you're not a Hobbit?"

"We passed the Turing test! Bwuahhhaaa haaa."

As long as Lea Michele is dispatched in a brutal fashion, I'm down.

...and people wonder why the word of a cop ain't worth shit to me.

I'm pretty sure Jaden Smith is just on his way to a wedding.