June 4, 2015: The day the term “Retroactive Hypochondriac” was coined.

Can’t control myself, must control myself, gotta, gotta, nope nope not working

This is childish, mean-spirited, and awesome.

This is the longest “WAHHHHHHHHHH” I’ve ever read.

I’m a little disappointed that nobody took a swing at a “Data plan” followup joke.

Harden is still hitting 3’s in the offseason.

He started the night facing away from her, but then turned over 13 times.

Google’s big and beautiful Nexus 6 is on sale right now for $499, down $150 from the normal asking price. If you’ve been hankering to try Project Fi — or just need 6 inches of Androidy goodness in your life — it’s a pretty fantastic option. [Google]

“People who like fast zombies tend to prefer action films to thought-provoking films”

Done through a minor character from a backwater who dies on layer 9 1/2 of the cake via a random stabbing instigated by the Queen. The last 1/2 layer will be completed by Jaime Lanister in two books from now.

I would love to respond to your idea, but first let me tell you about this 10 layer chocolate cake I’m having.

When was the last time someone said this and meant it as a compliment?

And you know anyone who thinks Pig in the City is a movie for especially young kids hasn't seen it. It's one of the darkest kids movies of the 90s.

He beat a fat piece of shit. Granted, a fat peace of shit that had the balls to get in the ring with this James Bond villain looking motherfucker. I don’t know what I’m supposed to take away from this.

That was the least erotic video involving a massive Dong and an equally massive pair of breasts that I’ve ever watched.

Nope, it is still easily Trout

Harper is a very good player and has had an amazing start to his season, but comparing anyone to Mike Trout at this point is just unfair to the other player.

The complete tattoo reads: Erring Hernandez, Lifetime Original Movie.

Why do you hate potatoes at Lifehacker? Everytime you try to make a point about eating, you wind up putting potatoes on the bad side. However, potatoes aren't bad. Hell, even french fries aren't all that bad...if you eat a small. It's the supersize that's the problem and not because it's a french fry, but because of…