Lol. I have a server that I have to restrain from tipping me out when I help her if she’s the only one on the floor. I’m like, “I GET PAID A SALARY. TAKE YOUR MONEY OR I WILL WRITE YOU UP FOR MAKING ME TAKE ILLEGAL TIPS.”

How about we see a photo of you so we can judge what you have to offer the world physically?

Who wants to see a beautiful woman’s breasts? I’d wager most heterosexual and bisexual males and most homosexual and bisexual females?

You can be a creative witch though. I am an actual practicing witch and I’ve finally decided to go as a witch, but, I refuse to be typical. Here is my hat inspiration. My granddaughter and I are heading out to get the material today.

Daddy long legs are pretty awesome spiders. Super chill to us, badass assassins to all other bugs. Rock on, daddy long legs.

My little 6th grade boys made me smile a few days ago. I have a sign on my desk that says “a witch lives here with her little monsters.” The boys were asking me what I wanted to dress up for Halloween. I didn't tell them because I wanted it to be a surprise. They said I should be a witch so they could be my little…

You’ll do fine. Basically every mother lies awake at night afraid her kid is dying for the first few months and then you get desensitised out of sheer sanity preservation. Or you don’t and you literally lose your mind. But like I said you’ll do fine:)

Yeah, neither would I. My parents tell me I refused to go to sleep as a toddler. Like flat out wanted to be up partying with my toys at 1am. So they’d just make sure there was nothing dangerous around, put a blanket on the floor and let me have my party next to their bed while they went to sleep with a lamp on or…

Well, yeah! As I told one of mine, ‘It’s totally ok and natural to want to explore your bits but don’t whip it out in public.’ Standards, people, standards.

my 3 y.o. daughter put a cheerio in her vagina. I had to pull it out. she asked to eat it and I said “No, we don’t eat things we put in our vaginas.”

Most sane people stick the baby in a safe spot (pack and play or crib) with a couple of toys for ten minutes while they take a shower or go to the bathroom. With toddlers it can be a bit trickier, since they are crafty and more mobile.

Um...how is 9 or 10 way too young to be exposed to reproductive stuff? I’m sure I’m not the only woman who got her first period at age 9 - good thing I knew what it was, and didn’t think I was dying, right? Children should know the proper names for body parts as young as they can pronounce them, and not be given a…

When we were planning our wedding, my mom told me that if I invited my bio-dad, she wouldn’t come. As if I’d invite the guy who beat the crap out of her and held a gun to her head. Then my bio-dad, who I had recently reestablished a relationship with, said if I invited my mom, he wouldn’t come. As if he deserved to…

He’s mixed. And people are referring to him as a momma’s boy because it brings up shades of Psycho. Which is the most famous movie about a serial killer who happens to be a momma’s boy.

Why would you blame gun laws? The guy was mentally ill. He, his mother and his counselor/Dr./Priest/Pastor should have the support and freedom to intervene and provide help. This is a heart issue, not an issue about guns.

Jesus, “if you were an actual feminist”? Fuck off with that nonsense.

I’ve been thinking about this a fair amount. Is this whole thing about men with out-sized opinions of themselves?

If you’re super ripped and crush pussy on the regular, you’re an Alpha.

This is amazing. And it reminds me of my first outing as a flower girl. I was three, so I was deemed too young too attend the late rehearsal the night before and I was raised agnostic and had never been to church before. So I really winged it day of. I got bored and sat down during the ceremony, and refused to stand…

During the children’s sermon on Christmas Eve, the pastor gave the gifts these gorgeously wrapped presents. The kids opened them and the boxes were empty - he was building to something. So he asked the kids if they knew why their boxes were empty? Much much louder than he anticipated due to the fine ascoustics in the…