My family always does little gifts so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe we’re all creeps. My mom always gets me chocolate, my dad usually gets me a card, and this year my sister won by giving me candy, a tiny bear, and a NARS lip pencil sharpener. #blessed.

April, Christopher and Dean better have minute cameos. Babette and Miss Patty and Gypsy all better have more screen time than those assholes.

I think if you see Bill Muray at a bar, you buy him a drink. Then play it cool, godammit! That way, worst case scenario: you can tell people you bought Bill Murray a drink (“...and?!”) and maybe he refused it or did some other crotchety shit. Best case scenario: he thanks you and you get to meet Bill Murray.

I’m with Bill Murray on this one. He wasn’t at a public event or anything. He should be able to enjoy his dinner without people snapping photos WITH THEIR FLASHES ON or at all. This is rude and treating people like objects is always fucked. Plus, they’re going to get plenty of money because of their shitty behavior so…

You know you don’t have to go without sex until you’re married to avoid having children and contracting STDs, right? Despite our country’s shitty Abstinence Only sex education (assuming you’re in the US), some of us are still smart enough to figure out how a condom and birth control works.

Stfu with that “must be gay” rubbish. Lots of people of avoid sex, with people of the opposite sex, for lots of varied reasons. And, uh, their sexual orientations or desires or personal views on sex are none of your goddamn business. So, if you don't simply take them at their word as to their motivations, and take the…

I imagine Bey doesn’t have time for ‘Ye’s nonsense and Jay’s like, “You can come around the studio, but stay away from the house.”

Are. Are the devil.

You might be the devil.

No. EVEN WITH THOSE ABS, HE IS STILL THE WORST RORY BOYFRIEND.

Ha!

Now I don’t know anything about design, but I really feel like they should come with a piece of chocolate and a midol inside each wrapper. Oh, and slip of paper with your fortune on it.

Kim and Amber are referencing this, right?

Red bull and adderall?

Oh Mariah . I would rather shove hot coals up my cooter than be married to her. Nick is in my prayers. So is the billionaire. The children are also in my prayers. May the lord rain blessing down upon you all.

When I saw the Dax/Kristen video, without introduction, I thought it was the Holdernesses. *Cringe* *Someone holder me*

It is really bumming me out that I watched a video about how Khloe gets her cookie jars to look like that. I’ve never even watched an episode of KUWTK, but I know that. I also know that Khloe supposedly refills the jars each first of the month. So do so few people eat them that they are till full on Sept. 22, meaning…

Niall is always baby tho.

Also Yellow Fever and Dengue. Freakin’ Aedes bastards

(She’s literally crying btw.)