They are already throwing flaming bags of dog shit

Oh I was watching the RNC last night and I could have swore that what you described was actually happening. Woops, my mistake.

“Umm... could you make mine a stuffed crust?”

Except then Jesus would be like “render unto Caesar,” and would decline to run. More than the on-stage miracles, *that’s* how you'd be sure it was really Him.

Some Republicans chose not to attend and instead took their children to actual garbage fires (although probably not really).

Now, in light of unlimited pizza and wine, do I wish I could vote in the US.

I was really disappointed that I did not get any tips on waterproofing from that speech last night. If my roof leaks this summer I am blaming the RNC.

I would vote for a candidate whose main platform was free wine, in a second

I think my life goal as an academic is to have a crazy republican call my work garbage and publicly throw it away. It would be the greatest compliment.

I don’t remember the last time I used a paper copy of a journal. Flaming iPads?

No, probably also better and more informative

Bangs are the devil’s children?

I would gladly vote for Jesus, but like actual Jesus not the Republican fictional Jesus that loves guns and hates the gays.

“The Washington Post, like several other media outlets, has rented out an entire restaurant to serve as their office for the duration of the RNC. Which is mostly just disappointing a lot of hungry people who walk by: “Washington Post? Is that the name of the restaurant? Why is it so empty?””

This convention has been easily ten times the unmitigated dumpster fire I could have ever wildly imagined. I’m watching it all like this:

That is incredibly screwed up. Do these people never think ‘hey what if that was my loved one’?

I prefer to store my leftovers under the passenger seat like a child.

I prefer to store my leftovers under the passenger seat like a child.

Oh i have publicly shamed a grown man taking cell phone video of EMTs working on someone following a really bad car wreck.

They probably used a non-conductive object to move her off the rails before grabbing her. In my HAZWOPER class they told us to use a wooden board in situations like this.

This is just... wow. I am speechless. I’m surprised she didn’t accidentally say “My husband, Barack...”