I only added the “as far as you know” because I’m too damn lazy to actually stand and clap. But, I was doing so spiritually :) (The spirit doesn’t have near the laziness that the ass does....)

All I know is that I never wanna go sailing with this guy.

She was “impregnated by” because she’s just a passive sail.

So real talk: weight gain or loss should be an off-limits section of writing, especially when a woman is carrying twins, WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THE TWO BABIES WERE GOING TO GROW. “Bellied out like a sail” Jesus Christ. Also the way he describes women makes it clear he is still waiting for his manic pixie dream…

I know the answer! They’re written by boners, for boners.

I completely understand. I myself, am prone to hyperbole. just wanted you to know you weren’t worrying into a void

I’m sorry to you, too.

It’s hot and humid here in Boston and I’m sitting in an air conditioned office and will then go home to an airconditioned apartment. I hope that makes you feel a little better.

really? I had no idea! Interesting tidbit, might have to do some research...

this is a great post but the angry comments are even better

Because I write for Jezebel and don’t know what sports are.

NEVER GO ON WEB MD

I whispered gently salivating into my children’s portioned French toast.Fucking perfect.

Congrats on your sobriety! Do you know if people who aren’t quite certain they are alcoholics (or not at all) tend to go to meetings a lot? I’ve considered going because I’ve had issues with alcohol before but wouldn’t consider myself an alcoholic.

i personally think it’s a-okay if someone wants to find a non spiritual solution that works for them. AA def isnt for everyone. but i disagree that the program requires blaming yourself. also alcohol is not an all powerful deity that we are unable to resit. the whole point of the steps is that we are able to resist…

AA doesn’t keep someone sober, it offers support for someone that wants to be sober. The only person or thing that can keep someone sober is themselves.

Nothing “works” to keep someone sober. You work to be sober. There are tools that help. You know what doesn’t “work”? Not trying.