It’s so great to be in England! Let’s go to a local school and surround ourselves with kids for a selfie so everyone can see how adorable the natives are! Isn’t it weird that they laugh too!? #universallanguage

That is SAGE advice.

This was before the hipster rats moved in

Oh Arrested. You have a line FOR EVERY POSSIBLE HUMAN SITUATION.

Still. Probably some porn of it online. And like a club.

I’m going to laugh and laugh when reincarnation turns out to be real and everyone inherits the world they created.

Once when my dad was like 8-10 years old in brooklyn a grown man handed him a paper bag. When he opened it-a live sewer rat jumped out.

I think lay off the meth is sufficient.

I wear spanx all the time. Though...that might be because I'm under a gypsy curse that says if I remove them my butt will literally fall off. On the ground. In front of everyone.

Spanx caused me to believe I DID deserve to vote!

“It’s really cool to work with a director who’s done so much, because he knows exactly what he wants,” Lively said.”

Well - at least they can now divert the funding into more abortion clinic pipe bombs.

I mean I assume in LA they find like 30 people with limbs cut off a day? But like eh...

I want the words “probable Weirdo”. To be on my tombstone

Siri quit my phone for “moral objections”

Don't worry. I always open up a window! Usually the kitchen window. I also wear sunglasses. So you're saying im safe?

Hahhaha hahhaha.

(Sigh) yeah. They would be. It's really really sad.

That's super sad : (

I DO.