So much in this performance.

Oh I mean they’ll definitely sleep in the bed! I think they like water so they can shower with me whenevs. And share a drinking bowl with the dog. The cat will groom them.

I just bought 6 otters on Amazon. Where will we put them? I don’t know. I’ll figure it out later. What do otters eat? I don’t know. Lettuce? Carrots? Spiced Tilapia? I’m sure something I have around the house they'll eat. Just like- I'll figure out when they GET HERE. God get off my BACK.

Don't tell me what to do.

I don’t know any of them! So on google images alone...

Marry John Mayer. He’s douchy but I feel like he might be like fun. He’s had a lot of girlfriends who seem fun so I think he might be funny and he’ll like constantly cheat on you but eh. At least he’ll leave you alone. I think Kanye would make you go to ALL of his performances and write out your outfits each week for…

Ok next round-

Ok next round-

Ok next round-

Ok next round-

Ok next round-

Ok next round-

Hahhaha

Who wants to play fuck-marry-kill?

Hello Ms. Swift! For privacy we have a lovely booth in the back for you and your party.

Am I the only one who wishes they could figure out how to harness our life forces to charge our phones? Like it drains us just a little but our phones NEVER DIE!! And in a way NEITHER WILL WE. We’ll all just have outlets surgically implanted into our arms with a cord that goes straight into our brains. And the cloud…

That's horrifying.

Thank you for being fair.

It’s middle aged for a pedophile....

I don’t gets whats you means? I’s not a smart lady woman?