I’m just impressed that you took the time to count up the rats, but not the number of zeros...

Scientists tell us that an alligator will not observe you until later; whereas a crocodile will do so after a while.

You counted fourteen rats but couldn’t count to four zeros.

Millions of years of evolution told that alligator he had nothing to worry about. A few pet shops shut that down in half a decade.

Only the gorillas have thumbs - your best defense is a door. I’ll be sitting on my couch watching The Gorilla Channel with the gorillas.

I’ll take the rats and gorillas. I can soak the rats in kerosene and teach the gorillas to light them on fire and toss them like Molotov cocktails at the enemy.

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Big ups to the coronary, too!

If guys can hide affairs from their wives, hiding kiddie porn from friends should be a piece of cake.

I believe the only take away from this is that you should own the people you molest. Then the masses will fight to put up more statues of you.

Pedophiles are famously good at hiding things. They go out of their way to be the ‘good guy’ that people can trust.

The guy is a scumbag and I doubt he never heard about any of the reports these girls made.

It’s much more possible than it is plausible. I’m thinking there’s plenty of us who have lifelong friends and haven’t shared EVERYTHING with them.

I miss when blogging was “add a photo to a page of text” rather than “add a page of text to a photo.”

Wow, this is a shit headline. Go fuck yourself Rafi.

What am I missing?

We get it. But this isn’t that simple.

Can Eagles fans make a pit stop on their way to Minneapolis to burn down MSU?

Wow, Jon Bon Jovi looks great. What’s his secret?

Did Scarlett say anything about her favourite filmmaker (i.e. the guy who made Match Point, Scoop and Vicky Christina Barcelona)?