I mean, what else am I gonna do, go “grab a seat, I’m gonna be a few mins” to the poor bastard?

So not only do you use the handicapped stall without shame, you intentionally lie on your way out?

I use the handicap stall every time I poop. It’s always cleaner and I like all the kicking room i gots in there. Really let’s a man relax while he’s trying not to let other people here him loudly fart out sprays of shit in a public bathroom and being labelled as “that guy” as you walk out in shame.

“DADDDDYYYYYY DIDNT GIVE ATTENTIOONNNNNNN”

i’m floored. i wasn’t prepared for that many twists 

HOLY SHIT THAT HUSBAND IN THE EMAIL OF THE WEEK

Historically speaking that isn’t actually true. Non-violent protests have only proven effective when there has been a credible threat of violence.

About 10 years ago I was at the Pearl Harbor Memorial and a group of Japanese were mugging for the camera. Next thing I heard was some guy going “Dad, dad no!” The dude was physically restraining his 80 something father from going over there and kicking ass. Old dude was legit pissed.

Tragic. One wonders if this situation could’ve been avoided if Uber cars were more readily identifiable, perhaps all painted and designed in a specific uniform pattern, their drivers also unionized and licensed specifically to insure a certain degree of safety to both the passenger and driver alike. These driver’s…

Philly Guide Book: “Reading Terminal has options for the whole family to enjoy, for any meal and time of day. DiNic’s, Bassett’s, Termini Bros, Beiler’s, Sang Kee, etc., are among the best food options the city has to offer.”

Before going into detail here, I should note that I’ve never previously had, or been interested in, a bread bowl;

Reading Terminal Market can be a bit overwhelming to the uninitiated. I’d imagine those chain restaurants are a familiar face in a storm of Italian meats and Amish pastries

Mealy, sand textured gym socks. 

The chain restaurant choices that surround the Reading Terminal confound me on a regular basis. I was practically raised on the food from that place, so you give me $40 and I’ll come out 100 lbs heavier, full of Bassetts ice cream, at least two cups of Old City Coffee and whatever else sings to me while I push past…

This ended about the way you’d think it would.

You don’t have to watch the Thunder to know what Melo does to a defense or an offense, frankly. But because I live in Phoenix, I’m pretty limited on Eastern Conference games. I also would not watch Phoenix. So, OKC and the Spurs were pretty much always on when I got home from work. Denver was fun. The Kings broadcasts…

The Rockets at best stayed the same, but I think losing Ariza and Mbah a Moute will hurt more than it opens up great opportunities for other guys to improve the team. The Warriors, meanwhile, got better for the fourth straight off-season. I don’t think this is as close as it was two months ago. 

“Why people don’t give that Rockets team from last year it’s due is beyond me. I hated watching them most nights...”

Princess Bride is a phenomenal book and movie, because William Goldman was a screenwriter (Butch Cassidy) before he wrote the book and adapted the screenplay himself, so he knew exactly what cuts and tweaks to make. Like, there’s no way the annotations would work in a film, yet the Fred Savage parts are great.

I got drunk at a friends wedding and when a camera came around to record our well wishes, I said “she’s a great girl who will save you a fortune in prostitutes.”