Officer: Nice work, but you’re lucky to be alive right now.

It’s a Turdis?

I really hope the Mets don’t waste a camp invite on someone who has proven he can’t play baseball at the Major League level. I get that he’s a really nice guy and used to be a famous star, but this whole David Wright spectacle needs to come to an end.

I didn’t realize that “talking shit and dramatically overestimating your abilities and then getting tossed to the ground by your own momentum” was a race.

Baseball is the only sport that actually looks like America.

I believe the driver would be an asshole because assholes shit on everything but as we know dicks fuck assholes too!

And I didn’t even like that movie, but what is different about Ridley Scott doing this and Ayer doing whatever the hell stupid shit he did?

Oh I have such a shame. I allowed a genetically altered bin of NOXplode to bite an Abercrombie & Fitch cable knit sweater and now we have this apple smashing creature to deal with. I am so sorry.

Jesus man, I know this is only kinja but have some dignity.

Then again, if you would have asked that same question pre-Bolt, the answer would be about what the 100m record is now. Maybe they are still waiting for their outlier.

While we may not have any hard proof (YET), there is a 0% chance Steve Bannon has never said nigger.

This is the right wing, in a nutshell. I’m so sick and tired of hearing how they give a fuck about the people of this country and how it’s the evil elites on the left who are the real villians. The right care about power, holding power and using it to fuck over as many people as possible before they lose it. Fuck…

It’s just a lovely blue dress.

“Bush doesn’t care about black people.” -Kanye West, 2005.

Urban planning and infrastructure falls under the purview of design, Darcoby.

Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.

Pretty wild that Stormfront can’t find a single fucking grammar nazi.

I think this was the woman who was interviewed by This American Life in their last episode. Don’t dismiss her, she had a lot of very smart things to say and everything she said about how congress works is absolutely correct.

I heard one time about a mechanic who accidentally got some brake fluid in his mouth, and realized he liked the taste. It started a little bit at a time, but a couple of weeks later, he was drinking four or five bottles a day, having developed a preference for DOT 3. His friends and coworkers held an intervention to…

I agree. It sounds like a bunch of carp to me.